1.Ignore your gf.
This is the most common mistake committed and girls have high power sensors to
detect when you try to avoid them in any way. This can be when you pretend that
you are listening but you don’t. Your body language will show that and girls
are very good at face reading also.
2.You are sarcastic and you think
you are mischievous. Girls like the mischief part but not the sarcasm. This
creeps in when you try to joke about her parents or her former boy friend.
3.Either you take her too much
care or you just don’t take her any care.
a.If you take her too much care
then she will think you are a sissy
b.If you don’t take any care
she’ll think you are not emotional.
c.Most of time it’s not the
amount of care you take but its just the situation arising and how strong or
weak is your reaction.
4.You show that you are very
perfect and you never do any mistakes.
Of course girls are a perfect kind of species and they too like perfection but
perfect people have fans and not girl friends. Also understand that for a
perfect person love is just an exception and out of routine thing so of course
you’ll be admired but your weekends will pass in front of TV and without any
gfs. It is very normal to share your failures as well as success.
5.Being Judgmental
As humans we become judgmental very fast which leads to strong feelings about
any person. We are not to judge her choices. She is always right until of
course it affects you adversely. Then of course you can always explain you
stand instead of being judgmental.
6.Taking her for granted
A big mistake when you don’t ask her opinion in the things concerning both of
you. Taking her advice is surely intelligent way to avoid problems and be sure
that she is a better problem solver than you as she is hard-wired to think
rationally.
7.Being too much angry or not
being angry at all.
a.Being too much angry even on
right reasons is never a good option in any relation as we can’t think and we
do what we seldom should so.
b.Opposite to it is we never
become angry on any thing. It shows that we are timid and ready to accept
insults and then how are we supposed to protect her self-esteem
So
guys these are the mistakes that can be avoided all together and it can lead to
happy and long-lasting relations.
Simplicity is
god’s creation while complexity is human creation.
Divine things
are always simple but maybe we fail to comprehend or maybe we fail to
appreciate them.
Many services
and other things run only because they are complex; their creators have fear of
losing business if they simplify them. Ideally an expert is a person who
creates complex situations and puts us in those complex situations so that
afterwards he can rescue us from those complexities.
In relation too
we fail to understand pure love as it is simple and without frills. We start
doubting it as it is too simple to digest. Doubt is a slow poison which kills
simplicity and innocence and creates complexities.
So let’s
understand the power of simplicity and lets honour its existence as its god’s
gift. In this era simplicity is associated with foolishness. We have habit of complexions
and whatever we expect we get that only in return, its the simple rule of
nature.
This simply means 80% of the people don’t use their intelligence to advance themselves. 80% of people work for 20% people.
It is like driving a car in fun zone. We go round and round and become happy that we are traveling but most of time we end up reaching the starting point as our end point. We fail to understand the larger picture or advance to the next level. It is not that people are not aware of this situation but it requires greater force, effort and lot of planning to move away from this center of gravity. This is a common picture in all the normal situations. We feel secure in crowds, that’s all right but thinking like the crowd is not good. So let’s see what traits put us in the 80% band
Normally 50-70% of my income goes in paying bills and installments for car, TV etc
All my savings are safely invested in banks and my share portfolio is swelling
Alas! All my savings went away in emergency
We enjoy and 10% of my income is spent on entertainment
I am cool as I buy everything branded from shoes to googs, even my underwear is branded. N o matter even if it drains 25% of my annual income but quality counts yaar
Good opportunities of investment are hard to find and it’s very risky
My child goes to the best of the best nursery school in the town and look how smart he has become. It is worth the spending
Why is it that every time any new opportunity comes then my investment is always a little shorter than the lowest bracket?
Family security matters, I recently bought a swanky flat and I will buy my office place as soon as I pay off the flat’s loan
I buy shares that my broker recommends, of course I tally them with daily mobile tips I receive
Last month only I was the most valued customer of the credit card company
I have the latest of mobile and laptop and they are great for surfing and I don’t use most of other applications
I always rush to offers of malls as its great value for money.
Well check out for yourself how the people of 80% band think and you can check whether you are in or out. You can be on the periphery of the band if you have more No’s. It’s not always easy to migrate to 20% band. And even after migrating to the 20% band there is also the same band of other 80:20.
But the most difficult is to break free from 80% band as it’s related to our habits but its surely worth an earnest try. It is always great fun and excitement in the process of achieving more than the achievement itself. So happy band jumping.
Come Joby take a lift in my cycle, then Joby would reply as usual “No, I am fine” as usual and continue running with me in the speed of my cycle. Athletic as he was, he always refused anyone’s life and preferred to run from his home to the school. He lived in railway quarters around 500 mts from our school. The school which has been the best school I ever attended, for this school has given me the best of buddies.
Joby Thomas was a Keralite growing up in a staunch Roman Catholic family. Sunday mass was the thing his family never missed. His father was in railway police force and he was very strict, opposite to him his mother was very loving. In some 2 or 3 years we went to his house just once. But he joined us in every game we played. Fit as he was both physically and mentally. I remember to this day how he removed a dead sparrow from our class bench after all the girls were shouting and we boys were enjoying. We enjoyed those carefree days fully and they passed out like cool breeze. Our last year in school the dreaded SSC year, when parents are more worried for studies than the student himself. Nevertheless we enjoyed that year too and all of us passed with good percentage. After that we all separated as schooling after SSC was not available in our town.
Luckily Joby and I chose the Rajkot as our city for further schooling. He took admission is St Mary’s and I got in LBS shortened fro Lal Bahadur Shastri vidyalay. Joby stayed with his paternal aunt and I stayed in our community hostel. Now he too had a cycle, I imported my cycle a black gold line super via state transport bus and I only did both the loading and unloading of cycle on the top of the bus. Joby’s aunty’s house was near my hostel. Every evening we went out to eat pani puri, gola, sugar cane juice. We mostly went for sugar cane juice, as I had taken a fantasy of a girl working there along with her father. That period was sort of turbulent as I was trying hard to adapt to the hostel’s environment and Joby was trying to adapt to the environment of his auntie’s house. One day his uncle came to my hostel and asked about Joby, I did not know anything and he had run away from his house, his uncle inquired about how much money I had given him so that he can know how far he has gone? Joby returned after one day. But we both enjoyed that time and about studies, what the hech is that? Next year too the same followed. I particularly remember two incidents. One of my room mate who was with me lost my all Journals purposefully so I got so angry that I was going to break his cupboard then Joby said “Use my cycle key that can open this thing”; It did and I also stole his journals so he complained to the warden and in turn warden took aways Joby’s cycle then I had to explain everything to the warden and it ended only when I got my journals back. Second was that Joby paddled whole night upto Jamnagar from Rajkot and drank a tea and returned back in morning. What stamina? Actually his plan was to run away but thankfully Almighty gave his little light to light up his empty head. As expected and awaited we both failed in the final year of schooling. So I was called back home while in the mean time Joby’s family too had moved to Rajkot. One more thing Bhargav our mutual and dear friend also moved to Rajkot to help his dad in business. While in hostel Joby and I both used to receive letters from Shrenik our dear friend.
Next year I cleared my XII and Joby kept on trying on and on with his turbulences, clearing one or two papers every year. During this time a strong bond was created between him and Bhargav. Life moved on and we both joined job. Joby’s dad retired and they bought a new house which was very far. As I was emotionally very strong and little rough and stubborn in nature, it was obvious for Joby and Bhargav to have great friendship. I am as a person very introvert and moody. But our friendship was very strong, thanks especially to Bhargav for that. We all enjoyed at his video editing shop whenever Shrenik came to Rajkot.
Years flew away leaving depreciation in our lives when we all ran after job and money and everything else that was not important but necessary to survive. One day I had very good news that Joby had fallen in love with some office girl from his office. It was a very good thing as we all thought that now Joby deserved this solace to his ever burning soul. Colours started to be magically filled in his empty canvass for this was his very first girl friend in his entire life. Joby started taking interest in all musical band of the church. Guitars started to play in his life and we all were overjoyed. Years flew by and we all thought that this is going on fine. One day when we visited Joby at late night and his mother scolded him, he grew so angry that he broke a coffee cup on his head. This was not the first time that Joby was angry but his anger was very violent. Maybe because of that or out of sheer curiosity, I decided that I wanted to see his girlfriend though he was not eager for that so after telling him many times my chance came to see her. I saw her for first time I don’t exactly remember her face but today also I remember her bra strap showing out from her right shoulder, that was the first and the last time I ever saw her. I am trying to recollect her name but I am not able to remember it. Major thing was that it didn’t look sexy but rather repulsive. But still she was Joby’s gf so she was special for us.
Calendars changed and years passed. I was getting lesser and time to meet Joby and Bhargav and other friends. Joby worked very hard and completed his XII and also completed one year of bachelors from an open university. He had become master in computers and life flowed. Everything was going cool and suddenly one day his mother died. His whole world collapsed for she was the only person in his house who would solace him. I am not telling that his dad didn’t love him but for a man to show all his emotions is a difficult thing especially when his duty entails him to be strong. Nevertheless his family being staunch never approved his choice of a gujarati sindhi girl.
Bhargav was always near him whatever information I got was from him only. Bhargav told me that Joby never went for lunch but drank 15-20 tea instead. He used to hand over his full salary to his gf and then he had to take petty amounts also from her, which of-course is humiliating if we are refused. He had also sold some ornaments and a computer and given to his gf. Talking about his gf, she did never mind in sitting behind her any colleague or was ever behind in teasing Joby with other colleagues. Maybe I am little old fashioned but it was something I would never tolerate from my gf. But still she was part of my dearest friend’s life to the level of obsession. Also on the girl’s side her brothers were local don so that was also the fear for Joby. One day when I went to Rajkot I saw him, he had grown pale and eye sockets were clearly visible. He had never done in-shirt from first and always wore chappals only. He looked ghastly without any smile something like dark cloud without the silver lining. So we both Bhargav and I advised him to run away without any tension of money as now I was on good job and Bhargav too had a good business. We assured to support him for six months and maybe more if he’s not getting a decent job. But he didn’t agree. I think he had also seen DDLJ.
Then in one of the happy moments we were together and Joby informed us that he had got a job in Dubai and he was to join during Diwali. This was very good news as at least he would be away from all the worries.
One day a call rang from Bhargav to tell me that something wrong had happened with Joby. We both were in Morbi and away from Rajkot so we rushed to bus station, but there was no bus for Rajkot, so we went for private vehicle but they were on strike. So finally we decided to go on my Bajaj and as we were leaving we found an ST bus and boarded it fast. We sat there with all the vile thoughts and sitting silent except for answering Bhargav as he talks much when he can’t understand the situation. I am totally opposite as I prefer to stay silent.
When we reached Rajkot, we saw a bus taking away coffin of Joby Thomas. We could not even see his face for the last time. We found that he had hanged himself in his room at night by a cable wire attached to the fan hook. We all cried much. I had also seen his gf and other office colleagues when the coffin was being taken away. At night we stayed in the room where Joby was last, from the condition of the door it looked that they had broken it open. His younger brother was also with us and told us that they broke it when he didn’t respond. We also prayed for the peace of his soul and lit lamps in the house. His dad’s eyes were dried without any tears but we could feel the pain of the father losing his eldest son. His aunty also was very sad for he had stayed for a long period with her. The house was under a very stronghold of gloom. Our minds had stopped and we were not able to accept the situation. We forced our eyes remembering all his fond memories. We got up early in morning and returned to our houses. After that what happened to Joby’s family I don’t know as my feet could never take me to his house.
We could never find out what happened but it was a great loss for all the people who loved Joby. We could never envision how such an ambitious, hard working, honest and very strong person could do this thing. But the thing I wish to tell my all friends is there is no reason enough to take our own life and deprive our near and dear ones. Also please don’t be too possessive about any person as I never wish to lose one more Joby. You are a boy or girl it doesn’t matter. What matters is you have family and friends who very much want you in one piece. They are your world and no problem whether its love or any other can be stronger than them. Face the problems and enjoy the love, for it’s really bliss, without love there is no life but without life also there can’t be any love. Also stop pushing your dear ones to the edge that they have no other options. Subtract such people who are born just to give you pain from your life Guys chill and let the colours of love fill your lives. Wish you ever lasting love and enjoy this day of love.
I don’t know who am I. Am I manifestation of desires? Am I reflection of friends I keep both real and virtual? Or am I angst of my rivals both known and unknown. What are the things that define my existence? Is it my I-card or my driving license or still better my file of degrees? Am I defined by the goals I have achieved or those unachieved goals. Am I limited by the relations attached with me or am I extended by relations I create. Or grossly am I defined by food I eat or movie or serial I relish. Do my choices obvious or planned shape my thinking and so shape me. But in any way I shape am I limited to that shape and defined by that.
Am I known by my religion or the Gods I worship? Do I change with all the hands I shake or the eyes I stare at or even the fantasies I cherish or the people I love and don’t want to be away from them? Or the activities I do in bed or out of bed mould me. Do the teams I cheer for make me? Am I what my physical looks say or am I the habits I keep or rather the choices of clothes and other things like vehicles and club memberships define me?
Well anyway who needs these definitions? It is rather easy to say that we are shaped by the risks we take and opportunities we get, but still who we are totally depends on our behavior with others and the love and compassion we have for others.
Cold Passion means the passion without noise. It’s something like attempting long jump of 20 feet without taking a run. It’s the most stubborn form of aggression or the most protective form of defense. It is the feeling wherein your every neuron is vibrating for the leap and heart is pounding galloons of blood but everything is encased in the tough skin and controlled by steely nerves. It is the situation when you only know that how much passion is lying potent in you and the outside observer can never have the slightest idea of your passion.
Ever seen an angry bear’s attack but what is more dangerous is a bear attacking in full cold passion with full might and without even a glimpse of the slightest fear or aggression in its eyes. This is the most dangerous attack of any predator and it the most difficult kind of attack to ward off. We can only judge intensity by the concentration of eyes to a single gaze and on the single target and all around the movement seems to stop and the time itself waits.
People with cold passion are great achievers; they can be sports person, major in army or cunning business man. In the worst cases murderers, cold blooded murderers without any remorse but not without goal. Actually it is the condition of the mind of the 100 meter sprinter just second before the gunshot. This condition is born out of sheer need or the sheer desire to win. As this state needs a lot of energy, it can’t be permanent state of mind. Many award winning movies final shots show this kind of passion. But if this state continues then it many lead to instability of mind temporary of permanent.
So it is the best winning strategy in any critical situation and most important is we can’t initiate it or end it.
This is a letter I never sent to my beloved (my jaan). Perhaps the circumstancs were such that I could not send it. So I don't know what reactions it would have created. Any ideas??
Dearest Jaan
It is difficult to ask how you are as our both’s condition is more or less same. Jaan I love you very very much though this thing is not to be written and neither to be told, it is just shown by kiss, the sweetest ones and hugs from delicate to strong and to read from those two beautiful eyes, but jaan I miss you very much for doing all these things.
Jaan our love is blossoming like a flower everyday and I very well know that you try to avoid that feeling of missing me, but truly jaan I too miss you that much only if not more.
And Jaan do you remember the taste of our first kiss. I don’t remember coz every time your kisses are getting more lovely, more tasty and very very sexy that turns me on very fast. It makes my everything stand, for me your kisses are god’s gift and so I never get satisfied by them and always want more and more. Your sexy kisses I love the most.
So Jaan won’t write much as I know the pain of missing so Jaan see you soon and lots of kisses.
Yusuf and Amna were like made for each other. They loved each other from the days of schooling, which lasted only till fifth. Then Yusuf’s time went in roaming and chewing mavas and Amna’s father decided that if she will study more then it will be difficult to find a matching groom from their community. So she was made to leave school and learn house hold chores and to help her mother in taking care of their house and four other siblings.
As time passed their love was growing desperate, but Amna’s father was adamant in not marrying them as Yusuf had no other work except to roam and spit. So finally they ran away from their house. They landed in a big city where one of the friends of Yusuf was living. This friend’s economic condition was also pathetic as he used to drive an auto by morning and drink by night. Even after being in this profession for years all together, he was not able to own his auto. Leave aside owning, the simple idea of owning also was not in his mind. He just drank all these years while his poor wife toiled hard working as house maid in the rich neighbourhood. Yusuf saw all this; he had no choice so he took up the job of driving auto with his friend. Their boss was hard but caring and due to that reason only Yusuf got the auto to drive. Amna also joined to work as house maid, and all the wheels started to turn.
One year passed like that and Amna gave birth to a girl, she was named Khusi, for she bought happiness in their life. Amna being sensitive to the pressures on her husband had taken leave only for fifteen days. But fifteen days were enough to be thrown out of the job. Anyway even Khusi was too small to be left alone. So understanding this situation even Yusuf advised her to stay at home and rest. Yusuf started to run auto in both the shifts during the day also and during the night also. He also made a major change in life style by shunning mavas to make way for baby food for Khusi. Amna was overjoyed and she thought that birth of Khusi had worked the wonder in making Yusuf give up his oldest habit; the habit which even her love could not remove. They also moved away from their friend’s house as Yusuf thought that the environment of the house was not conducive for healthy growth of Khusi.Another year passed like that. Yusuf had also taken the work of delivering big parcels from the industrial zones. The birth of Khusi had changed Yusuf entirely. He was once very gruff and worked only on his condition and on his mood; even his talking style was not harmonious. But now he mellowed down and treated his customers with care and was friendly with everyone. Even his fellow auto drivers were stunned by these sudden changes. These changes proved highly profitable for Yusuf and there was no dearth of customers for him. Finally he was able to earn enough to buy diapers for Khusi and even Amna was freed from reusing cloth diapers and her work as house maid. She wanted to start that work again but it was Yusuf who explained her mother’s role in the child’s development and persuaded her not to work, so she had not taken up any work after the birth of Khusi. But still her conscious bit and always she thought of making her husband’s burden light. One more year went by, but the change of attitude had helped Yusuf in thinking new and he was thankful to god for his gift of happiness in form of Khusi, which had opened his all doors of intellect, humour, friendliness, love, family and above all self-respect.
One day the wife of Yusuf’s very friend came running to Amna’s house with the news that her husband had attempted suicide by throwing himself in front of an express train. Amna called Yusuf instantly. He arrived fast and all went directly to the hospital. Luckily the friend was saved but train had taken away his feet with it. All were shattered by the condition. Yusuf started to think by waiting outside on the hospital bench. Amna persuaded the friend’s wife and their two daughters to live with them. Yusuf was impressed by his choice of Amna as his wife. For a person who can’t understand pain of others will never feel the pain even of his family members.
Everyone was getting used to the situation.Amna had a tradition as well as compulsion in her house in her childhood days to work with threads and intricate design making in the sarees. She was expert in designs involving high level of skill and concentration. Then she had thought to start making dresses but Khusi was still small and Amna’s full time went in taking her care. But after six months when Khusi was put in a play house Amna seized the opportunity and to boost her confidence joined a sewing class. She even persuaded Yusuf to pay fees of his friend’s wife. And Amna even requested the class to take their fees in instalments, which they agreed. On the end of the training both the women were ready with their fingers to grab whatever they could get. Even their class teacher helped them by giving them few contacts of ready made stores and personally recommended them. So they also started to earn, it was Yusuf’s duty to bring the material and deliver the dresses to the owners. He felt happy at the consideration shown by the women to reduce his burden. The work of accounting was given to Yusuf’s friend just to make him feel wanted.
One usual day Yusuf was doing his work of delivering passengers when he heard two salesmen talking about their marketing and selling and how hard it was to sell. Yusuf was interested in the work so he pleaded the salesmen to explain him their work, which they gladly did. So next morning only Yusuf tried his hand in marketing, his first call failed and for next call he had to wait as his regular passenger had already arrived. In too his three sales calls failed so he now realized what those sales men meant and said was correct that selling was not an easy work. But he had nothing to lose as he was doing this marketing thing in his spare time only as he could not afford to lose in his passenger income. Though his burden had become less because of Amna but still he had to have his regular income to run the house. At the end of the day Yusuf was coming in contact with at least 20 people; all with different professions and different mind sets and different psychologies. He was observing these people for fun at first and then later on studying these people for their buying and spending habits. This observation proved fruitful and he was able to sell some of the products directly to his permanent customers. This boosted his courage and later on he decided to concentrate on one product only; which he observed was selling the fastest. This was Surf Excel “Daag acche hote hain”. He then approached the wholesaler and made a deal with him for selling 500 units per month. He was offered a commission of Rs 5 per unit which was very good. But instead of taking Rs 5 commission he offered a rebate of Rs 4 to his customers and just kept with himself Re 1 commission. This worked wonders and he was able to complete his selling target. Within one month itself his sales soared to 50 units per day. He then decided that it was time to invest in his business, so he purchased his own auto by a bank loan as all the money earned by his selling was free from liabilities as his primary income was enough to run his house.
Yusuf got his auto redesigned with the idea from one of his passenger friend who was an interior designer. It was designed in the Surf style and also had glass drawers inside so that passengers can help themselves and grab the Surf unit. When he showed his auto to the wholesaler he too liked the idea and called in sales executives of the company and they too liked the idea and Yusuf was paid the full amount of the redesign for his idea was worth more than that. Now he could spare some time for himself so he enrolled himself in a spoken English class as it was his long awaited dream to be able to talk to the foreigners who boarded his auto. His family along with Amna ridiculed him but he enjoyed their teasing also. After updating himself it was time to update his family which of course included his friend’s family. He enrolled the elder daughter of his friend in a computer class to give her knowledge of internet. One night Yusuf’s wife Amna asked “Why don’t we buy another auto and keep a driver?” Yusuf replied “Oh yes, it’s a good idea, but why to buy something which we can lease or rent?” Amna was confused and asked Yusuf to explain. So Yusuf explained to her his plan of starting a travel agency. And for this purpose only he had learnt English and had enrolled the daughter of his friend in computer class. Amna was overjoyed by the thought How intelligent is my husband and gave his kisses and strong hug for his advance thinking even for occupying his friend and making him self-sufficient.
One a brand new laptop arrived and it set on their travel agency business with on-line booking from station to station including hotels, sight seeing, guides and of course auto booking. This was one more brilliant idea that culminated from the fertile mind of Yusuf. This business was entirely operated by Yusuf’s friend and his daughter. Further more Yusuf included his former boss of his first auto in the business as he had not forgotten the opportunity he had given his when he needed it the most. He names this agency as “Khusi Tours and Travels”. As for Yusuf he never stopped his auto business as it was this business that had given him lots of ideas and continued to give him such workable ideas wherein with little capital and lots of hard work and luck one could make miracles and above all could churn the dreams into reality.
Yusuf finally repaid his full loan and became a big man and above that proved himself as a great human which is very difficult to do. He never parted with his auto. When people asked him about his success he always told “I concentrated on one product, one family and one auto and rest of the things came automatically” he also added “Allah meharban to gadha pehalvan” and laughed off his success in modest way.
Thinking purple means to stay always in joy. This means we enjoy each and every moment. What makes it different is its not extreme; means its not red meaning full joy or ecstasy, neither it’s grey or black which means gloomy. It’s the right amount of joy to keep us happy with continuous cosmic energy reflected by us and passed to everyone around us so that it becomes contagious and everyone around us is happy in our company and they feel light.
When we have extreme happiness then it is short and fades away fast same with extreme gloom or evil happiness they also pass away too soon. So the thing is to feel happy without reason and have this little spark in our smile and manner.
Purple is also combination of pink and blue both representing the genders of female and male. Which means that happiness is genderless and ever lasting as our spirit itself. Soitstoday this moment and every moment to feel that purple happiness without any grudge or any source of happiness to add the spice in the right proportion to our life.
